Loading... What does loosing a parent as a young child do to a person?

My dad died when I was 8. I became very fascinated and somewhat envious of kids with dads. I missed that male connection and influence in my life. I am an only child and I became terrified that something would happen to my mom, leaving me alone. I worried about her wherever she went and I insisted that I go with her everywhere - I'm sure it made her life miserable.

She died of cancer when I was 15. I can't say it made me a stronger person because I do not know who I would have been if they had lived. But, I do think it made me a more neurotic person worrying about the people I love dying. I am also a terribly cautious person, worrying about accidents etc. that actually keep me from doing a lot of things out there in the world.

My parents split when i had 3yo

We need both parents (Male and Female influence)

Mother will show us what is Love and Protection

Father will show us what Rules and Good Decisions means

Without one of them we wont be complete, and will take years to discover things that we should learn when we have the two of them.

My dad died when I was 10. My mother raised three girls single handedly. I think as kids we are resilient. My mother never remarried, and I think that was a shame. We didn't see my father a lot because by the time he came home from work, we were in bed. I didn't feel different than other people but I think some of the teenage angst would have been different if there had been a man in the house. I suspect our upbringing would have been more strict.

Losing a parent at such a young age, would have sent me into a tail spin, since I was unusually close with both, but also way too attached to them. I suppose it would depend on the child. Whatever the case might be, even if the parent, were abusive, unloving etc, it would have to impact the cild, and be very traumatizing. However, I think it might make them more independant than most, if his/her age. Again, it would entirely depend on the situation, support system, and where the child was then going to live, with who, etc. I will tell you that as an adult, close to middle age, I lost both of my parents, coincidentally with in 4 months of each other. (they had been amicably divorced for many, many years, living 3000 miles apart, before you start thinking beautiful romance) And helplessly watched one of them suffer terribly just before. Gut wrenching as it all was, I have come out of it with a far greater sensativety, as well, now I allow myself to truely feel. Something that I had never done. Also a lot of other things. So if we continue to go on, & want to live, we will grow, each in their own individual way, but there will always be growth.

This article focus on the experience of losing a parent as a small child. What does it mean, what does it imply, what will this do to the child as she grows, how will it change her. Based on my personal experience I tried to describe what I felt and what changed in me on account of my father's death and I added some advices for the adults near the child on how best to help her overcome such an event. keep reading →